I am single. Yes, you read that right. J and I are no longer together. *cue the dramatic gasps, shocked faces, and big eyes* So a lot has happened in my life since the last blog post. If you don’t feel like reading this all, *~Long Post Alert~*, please know that I am doing extremely well. I’m not boohooing. Although, I can’t lie I did a couple times (more about that below) Plot twist right?!
So I know you probably have questions and I won’t be able to answer them all, but I have always tried to do my best to be frank, tactful, honest and respectful on Stylish Sista and this topic is no different. It’s important to realize this blog post is from my perspective. And to avoid drama or mess I will talk about how I am feeling now and about how I felt.
It’s also important you know I was on the receiving end of the break up.
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a break up you know it’s a whirlwind of emotions. When I tell you guys that I was ROCKIN’ my rose-colored glasses! Man, oh, man was I?! You guys saw my blog posts!? And what I write always comes from a place of honesty. I thought I was falling in love. And in a second those feelings were pulled from under me and I fell face first into a pile of reality.
This was my first ever serious relationship. (Say whaaaaaat?!) So to be honest I didn’t know how exactly I was supposed to feel. Initially, I was sad. You’re telling me that the person I’ve hung out with for the past few months no longer wants to hang out with me?! I struggled with so many negative thoughts the first couple of days. I was trying to make sense of something that didn’t make sense to me (at the time). The only thing that made sense for me to do was find refuge in a book. I thought I picked the right book. I had seen this book on social media. But Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur picked me. The PERFECT book of poems for me to read. It was the perfect book to make sense of everything I was feeling. (It’s a definite must read if you 1. Are female and 2. Have ever experienced the hurting, the loving, the breaking, or the healing)
There’s one poem that stuck in my brain that day and that will probably stick with me the rest of my life.
“Don’t mistake salt for sugar
if he wants to be with you he will. it’s that simple”
Along with the poems from Milk and Honey, I am really thankful for my friends and family. Those who listened to me, FaceTimed with me, checked in on me. It helped to have someone validate my feelings, offer advice or another perspective. I have the best support system, I swear. So to those of you who may be reading this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I’ve learned so much about myself from this relationship and break up. I’m proud of myself. I put myself out there, trusted, and ultimately had fun. I wouldn’t erase any of those memories even if I could. In retrospect, I wish I would have seen things for how they really were versus seeing the potential of what they could have been. J is a great guy, it just took me time to realize he’s not the right guy for me. There were signs that things were working, and I just chose to ignore them. Those rose-colored glasses sure are something?! Am I right?! So all of this to say, I’m doing well. It’s very much a healing wound and it stings a bit at times but I’m no longer sad or angry. The tears have stopped. And I have starting dating myself again. I never realized that relationships take so much time and energy. So now I have no excuse to not have the best blog, dedicate time to working out, exploring and having new experiences. Last weekend I took myself to the movies and had a BLAST!
I couldn’t not share where I am and my growth with you guys. After all of this I still believe in love and I’m sure that what is for me will be for me. I’m excited for what the next season of my life will hold. And I hope you all are too.
Here’s to more lessons, self-love, and life. Here’s to 2017 – The year of T.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on relationships, experiences, lessons, quotes, or breakup playlists even. Feel free to get the dialogue going in a comment below.