A reason, a season, a lifetime

Cat Eye Sunglasses, Life Talk, Beach Day, Metallic Halter Bikini
This summer has been a bit of a blur. And no it’s not over yet, but SO MUCH has happened that I feel like it is time for one of these posts so I can release it all.

For starters have you ever heard the quote “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime?”

ME (OVERALL): I’ve been okay. And yes just okay. With the summer being packed with visits from the ones I love (Adri, Wyeisha, and my mom and sis) those moments I have marked as highs. #LIFETIME. Moments where I look back and I’ve had THE MOST fun this summer. But otherwise I kinda feel like I am on this plateau. On top of a case of chronic loneliness, I also seem to can’t beat a creative block. You guys know me. I like to draw. Take photos. Blog. But for some reason I have been slacking in all of those areas in my life. The areas where I am able to be stimulated the most creatively. I have been sitting on content. Photoshoots, drawings, blog posts. I just haven’t taken the effort to actually share any of it. Why?! I really don’t know. I have the time. I can make the time. I’ve been on top of my work goals, but haven’t been on top of my personal goals at all. Where is the grind Taelor? Am I getting comfortable?

WORK: Ever had the moment where you realize your parents are actual humans and they make mistakes?  Or the moment in a new relationship where the rose-colored glasses come off? Welp. This has officially happened to me at work. I’ve realized that the company I work for is a business, first. Which I knew. I just didn’t know. You know? Work has been the driver to a lot of my growth as a person, this summer. I really have learned so much about myself. About others. So I am just going to leave that thought, at that. And say that I’ve realized, I take too many things personally, still. #REASONS. I’m aware and working on it though. Oh! And how could I forget to tell you guys! Opportunities have just been coming my way as of the past week. I am getting to participate as an alumni of my company with its involvement in MAIP (the internship program I did last summer), my company is sending me to represent them at a diversity conference in September, and (yes… There’s more?) I was chosen as the only person to represent my company in this young professionals advertising competition. Umm… WHAT?! HOW?! WHO?! That last one is such the kicker for me. Am I really doing that well? I honestly didn’t think so. But I am feeling fortunate enough to work for a company that is investing in me and my growth.

HIM: dun. Dun. DUN. You guys have been asking for updates, and date recaps. And all of those seemed doable and exciting (*pre-creative block), but HIM and I are no longer. I know! You are dying for more details. And those of you who keep an eye on me via my Instagram have already seen the suspenseful photos of him trail off. And some of you have even asked me! BOLD! haha I love it! I think? But anyway, yes. We are no longer dating* (*going on dates. We weren’t an item.) #SEASON. So things started to fall off once the summer started. There were some red flags I noticed that I tried not to notice that kept coming up. #RoseColoredGlasses. Then things really went downward after I brought up exclusivity. For me, we had been dating since March (so about 4-5 months) and no label? Well, we had talks about labels and how that was our next move… (You should all remember that this is from my perspective.  And I am condensing.) And then I felt blindsided when he said “I don’t believe in labels.” Weird. Because last week you did? So… You don’t believe in a label with me? And you guys know. I’ve had that talk about what I am looking for. And being a side chick? Isn’t it. He isn’t ready for a label; with me. And I can’t force anyone to do anything. Nor would I want to. So that is how that season ended. It left me feeling a bit hurt and irritated I have to admit. I trusted him. And the back and forth of feelings blindsided me. He’s not a bad person. He’s just not the person for me. Sooooo…. Ya girl is a SINGLE PRINGLE. hah (Thanks Andrew for the phrase!) Which is for the best. I need to break this creative block. Focus on me. On work. And a video that was floating on Facebook of T.D. Jakes preaching really spoke to me. He said, ” When people can walk away from you. Let them walk. Because your destiny is not tied to the person who left.” *claps hands*

I think that’s it for now. Whew. And that was a lot. I told you.

But I know good things are on the horizon for me. I know it. I just have to push through. Enjoy myself. My 20s. I’ll be 23 next month. Crazy??! It’s time to grind for the things that I love. The things that I want.

xox
T

Anddddddd I will post outfit details on another post following this one. 😉

 

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