24 things I’ve learned in my 23rd year

Two days ago I turned 24. Twenty-DAMN-four. And man, I am blessed to see another year. Thankful that my 23rd year taught me so many lessons and push me to grow in ways I wasn’t ready for. And thankful for all of you. This past year has been a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs. So let’s recap with the 24 things I learned in my 23rd year.  [*LONG POST ALERT*]

1. Time is of the essence.
   Time is precious. We only get so much of it. So I’ve been trying to enjoy every moment that I am blessed with.
2. I have all of the ideas but only two hands. 
   This year I was hit with a ton of great ideas. #SeeHer. My custom denim jacket business. With a full time job it’s hard. I want to do so many things but I’m only one human. I’m in the process of learning prioritization. Not everything has to be done this very second. I still will do all these things I just need to make the time to dedicate to them.
3. True friends are still hard to come by. But I have found them. *sighs* And it feels really stinkin’ good.
   My friends are absolutely amazing. Whether it be in Jersey, Harlem, Canada, Texas, or California I have really amazing friends who check on me and make sure that I and my family are okay. Sometimes I get sad that I don’t have a gang of friends in NY that I hang with all the time. But this year has shown me that no matter the distance the friends I do have will be there and support me in an instant. I love you all. You know who you are.
4. It’s okay to say NO. Especially when it is for your self-care. 
   I struggle saying no. I have this thing where I feel like me saying no will hurt people feelings. The right people won’t guilt you for saying no.They’ll understand the importance of YOU time.
5. Good vibes and bad vibes are real. Listen to that instinct.
   You can tell when someone or something is giving you a weird energy. I’m the queen of not listening to that feeling and then wishing I would have. Trust your gut.
6. Loving yourself HAS to be a priority.
   Happy to say I’m in a great place with loving myself for myself. Still working on being a healthier version of myself. But I’m really loving all of me.
7. It’s okay to delete “friends.”
   This past election made me realize this. I have 1,000+ “friends” on Facebook probably all the way back from middle school and this election made me realize the importance of claiming my spaces. I love social media. And to have some people clutter my feed with content that wasn’t uplifting was grounds for removal. It’s my feed and I can choose who I follow. Also it’s okay to just “hide” someone’s content. LOL Don’t be ashamed.
8. Silence speaks volumes.
   Surround yourself with people who stand for something.
9. Family will always be everything.
   Hurricane Harvey put things in perspective. I was so nervous. But my family in Houston is doing well and wasn’t affected too much by the hurricane. This isn’t the case for a lot of people in Houston. I’m so blessed.
10. Fake love can and will describe itself as real love. Watch out!
    In an effort to experience love I got my heartbroken earlier this year (see this post to recap). When real love comes around there is no hiding it. No guessing. No questions. Trying to be as intentional about my words and feeling in 24. Real love will come to me. I’m sure. 😉
11. There’s no time limit on healing.
    I was nervous after my last breakup that it was too soon for my heart to be available. I felt like I was supposed to still be sad for some reason. Everyone’s healing is different. And everyone will always have an opinion on how you’re supposed to do something. But finally realized that I’m allowed to live my life how I want.
12. A Reason. A Season. A Lifetime. (Left from last year. STILL RELEVANT.)
    *claps* See earlier blog post here.
13. Mo money. Mo problems.
    As I advance in my career it’s crazy how much more I ‘need’. Adulting is expensive. A social life is expensive. Not having a social life is expensive. Everything costs.
14. Always stand up for what’s right.
    I’m no longer afraid to speak up for what I believe. Yeah it can make people feel uncomfortable. Especially in the work place. But it’s necessary ESPECIALLY if you don’t want to be walked all over. Ha. I learned that the hard way.
15. Slow down and appreciate the art that surrounds you. 
    Gosh. This is what makes New York the best city to live in. Art everywhere and in everyone. In the subways, on the sidewalks, in the smirks. I love living here and seeing something different everyday.
16. It really doesn’t matter what people think. (Kept from last year’s list. Still reminding myself of this one.)
    I spent so much stinkin’ time worrying about what people thought about me! Goodness. It feels so free to not care anymore.
17. Stay stylish. 
    Such a weighted statement. Stylish in the way you carry yourself. In the battles you choose. Style transcends beyond the clothes.
18. Reflect without dwelling. 
    Reflection is an important step in order to learn and grow from situations. But sometimes when reflecting it’s hard to not fall into that ‘Why me?’ drain. Avoid this like the plague it is. Nothing good comes from it. You just end up getting pissed off and bitter. Trust me I know.
19. Don’t be afraid of rejection.
    During 23 I applied for a couple of programs that I wasn’t accepted to. It’ sucks. But hey AT LEAST I TRIED. And I will try again. One ‘no’ from one person doesn’t define my worth.
20. Nothing good comes from stressing yourself out about things that are out of your control.
    I’m the stress queen. I’m still working on this. Realizing that there are things worth stressing out about and things that absolutely aren’t.
21. Mom’s always right. 
    My mom’s going to flip when she reads this haha. But she is always right. Love you momma.
22. Age is just a number, most times. 
    Oooh wee! Ageism is alive and well. And this year I was taught the lesson that no matter how great you are at your job there will always be people who don’t see you as such because of your age. Don’t take that. Fight for respect.
23. Ask for what you want.
    My mom used to say a closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Finding this to be true in regards to career advancement, relationships and friendships. You’re worth the best. Claim what’s yours BBs.
24. It’s okay to change your dreams.
    My dreams continue to evolve as I continue to grow and that’s okay. I’m 24 and I have time to figure it out.

So. Twenty-four. Thank you guys for all the love, support and birthday wishes. You all have continued to help me more than you know.  I’m excited to see what this next chapter has in store for me!! I’M READY for all of the #growth and please let the #glowup continue.

With exactly 12 hugs and 12 kisses,
T

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